i asked my bf to make me some fucking hot chocolate and the entire time he was trying to remember that one harry potter spell about turning water to rum anyway he came in with my drink and he just goes “eye of newt, sperm of groot” and i dont remember the rest becasue i just burst into tears
I’ve met people who will actually argue against this (and I suggest just blocking anyone who does) but if your choice is between going hungry and getting fast food or snack food….PLEASE JUST FEED YOURSELF. No food is actually bad enough that it’s better to skip eating entirely. Malnutrition is more dangerous, more immediately, and more long-term than any consequences of eating a damn twinkie or a cheeseburger.
there is no such thing as ‘empty calories’
god, GOD Freddie Mercury was such a fucking badass
This doesn’t do the moment justice. He took the swig of vodka, said “I’ll fucking do it darling”, and then ABSOLUTELY NAILED IT in one fucking take
Mood for 2019: “I’ll fucking do it, darling.”
LETS DO THIS GUYS IM SERIOUS
every time you feel like you can’t do shit anymore bc you’re tired, think of Freddie.
ILL FUCKING DO IT, DARLING!
HONESTLY, THIS HAS GIVEN ME SO MUCH HOPE FOR 2K19/
“I’ll fucking do it, darling. “
I’ll fucking do it, darling.
I’LL FUCKING DO IT DARLING
I’LL FUCKING DO IT DARLING
I’ll fucking do it darling!!
2019′s motto
I’LL FUCKING DO IT, DARLING
Heat index was 110 degrees so we offered him a cold drink. He went for a full body soak instead
friend who lives hundreds of miles away: i made food
me: can i have some
friend who lives hundreds of miles away: yes
everyone on the internet: minecraft is such a fun and relaxing game! :) anyone can play it, no matter how bad you are at video games!
me, still trapped after 5 months in my 2x4 hole in the wall with no food, no tools and mobs surrounding the only exit:
People need to realize that there’s a difference between straight people and Straight People™
Straight person: Hey, you got a new haircut. Looks really good.
Straight Person™: No homo, but your haircut looks good on you.
In case you were confused 👌
Just like how there are white people who are gay and then there are the White Gays
White people who are gay: “I’m gay.”
White Gays: “I can’t believe I got accused of racism after calling that person a racial slur! I mean, I know what racism looks like because I’ve been discriminated for my sexuality. How is me being racist even possible? I’M GAY!”
Lmao all the angry White and Straight people in the comments, keep reblogging
neurotypical: i don’t have any mental illnesses or disorders
Neurotypical™: Happiness is a choice!! ✨✨Have you tried yoga? Drink more water and eat kale ✨✨
cis person: i identify completely as my assigned gender
Cis Person™: It doesn’t matter what you identify as, cause you still have Female Genitals! I’m not being offensive!! Read a book on Human Biology! 🚹🚺
men: I identify as male.
Men™: feminazis ruin everything, get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich bitch
atheists: I don’t believe in god or identify with a religion
Atheists™: Don’t fucking talk to me if you believe in God. Open your closed-fucking-minds!! (usually targeted towards Christians)
nice guys: hey I know when not to invade someone’s space and I totally respect boundaries
Nice Guys™: IVE BEEN YOUR FRIEND FOR A MONTH AND NOW YOURE TELLING ME YOU DONT WANT TO FUCK ME ???? WHAT IS THE POINT OF WOMEN IF YOURE NOT HAVING SEX WITH ME?
this post got all kinds of better since I last saw it
This post is perfection across the board.
christians: i believe in God
Christians™: GOD IS THE ONLY GOD OH GOD IS THAT STAR A PENTAGRAM?!?!?!?!?! READ YOUR BIBLE EVERYDAY IF YOU DONT YOUVE FAILED ALSO IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ME IN ANY WAY YOURE GONNA GO TO HELL CAUSE IM A CHRISTIAN AND IM EXEMPT FROM RULES CAUSE GOD SAID SO
This whole post is gold
hyrellion asked:
iguanamouth answered:
listen the ONLY part of a mr mime thats edible are the red spots, and thats ONLY after being properly cooked - if you bite into any part of their body while its still raw youll suffer near immediate food poisoning
luckily, just like red kidney beans, the potential toxins are easily to remove provided you take the right steps
once theyve been safely removed from their inedible surroundings, the larger red spheres are ready to begin working with - its worth noting that the smaller spots on the hands and cheeks also fall into this category, but theyre almost always too small to be considered harvesting by most professionals
youll want to start by cutting away any flesh thats still directly touching the pale parts; when in doubt, a wider cut is always preferred. better safe than sorry ! one benefit of working with mr mimes is that, along with many others in their typing, their bodies are held together with physic energy and thus dont require deboning
the next part is going to require boiling in a large pressure cooker- some may find it a challenge to to find a pot big enough to host all the parts, so cooking them individually is fine. remember to follow the instructions to the letter
after theyve been removed and dried, an easy way to text if theyre safe to eat is to cut them in half and check the spongy center - a darkened purple core means theyve been boiled long enough, while any lighter, greenish tints means you probably needed a bit more time
once theyre out of the danger range, you can now safely use them in variety of dishes ! their almost mushroom-like texture means they absorb flavors well, and pictured above is one of my personal favorites
THIS guy though, you can just pop em into your mouth whole. its fine
its fine
its fine
